How to tell a child how babies are made

  One of my friend's preschool daughter started a conversation about where did she come from.
  It is very interesting question, and  perhaps the expression “talking about the birds and the bees”  represents the most common version of our attempts to do this with some degree of biological accuracy. The jokes and devious explanations used by some parents also acknowledge our discomfort in dealing with the subject.
  I will share my experience.
  Lets start with, my oldest was present at the birth of her sister, she was 22 months old at the time. She was in control of where she wanted to be, what she wanted to see and so on. At one point she took my mom by her hand and went to another room to play and came back when the baby was out.
  At around 4-5 years old she started asking question about how did she got there, inside the tummy. As I am a fan of natural home births, she knew about how the baby grows inside mommy, how it comes out. You can find very beautiful videos on Youtube. And she liked to watch them with me. 

    So when it came to finding an answer of HOW did they got INSIDE,  was the difficult part.
    I have found very good article, that I liked on Babycenter. It says:...Ask, then tell.Make sure you understand what your child is really asking. Linda Eyre, co-author of How to Talk With Your Child About Sex, tells a story about a boy who asked his mother where he came from. Thinking he wanted to know about the facts of life, she sat down with him and told him everything. Then the boy told her that he was just wondering where they lived before they moved into their new house.
To avoid a misunderstanding, respond to your child's questions by asking: "What do you think?" Many young children spin elaborate fantasies about how babies are created. First get a handle on what your child is thinking. Then you can use that as a launching point for a more helpful discussion.
"How does a baby get in there?" A sweet and simple explanation should satisfy most young children. You can say something as simple as, "The daddy gave love to the mommy and together they made a baby." Or "Babies are made when two adults love each other so much that they're able to create a baby inside the mommy."
If your child wants more detail, you can tell her that a sperm from the daddy joins an egg from the mommy and together they grow into a baby....
 I will also add, that in some cases it might be OK to say more, for example: an honest one that doesn't try to offer a college course in human reproduction in one session. Tell the child that, in a sheltered place inside their bodies, mothers carry a large number of tiny eggs (without shells) and that these eggs drop down into a space in their bodies called a womb or uterus about once a month. Those eggs can’t become babies until the father puts into one a special substance called sperm that comes out of his penis. When this happens, we say that this special egg is fertilized. It attaches itself to the mother’s womb and grows there for about 9 months.

Some children will get bored with these answers and will leave you alone. But ofcourse there could be children who are more inquisitive and will create more questions. In that case, GOOGLE to the rescue :DDDD
You can read more questions and answers, advice on haw to  here at Babycenter. com  Please share your experience, what would you say in comments below. I'm sure there are plenty of funny stories out there! :)  The old story about the little boy who asked his father where he came from, got a long lecture on reproduction and sex, then said, “Thanks, Dad. But Jim said he came from Buffalo and I just wanted to know where I came from.” 

Oh no!

Oh No!
Lots and lots of tears. Girl's pet- the gold fish had died :(
K asked:' mama what the fish is doing?' I looked and saw it with it's head stuck in a filter. The protective pipe had slid out of it and the fish got in and I guess suffocated.
  So I put it in the fridge for the night and we will bury it tomorrow. Very sad, sad indeed :'(
 I'm thinking may be tomorrow after school ask them if they would like to buy a new fish? Or it's too early? Does anyone have experience with dead pets? How did you go about it?

Why I still breastfeed my 5 year old

•       All the benefits of human milk—including nutritional and health—continue for as long as your baby receives your milk. In fact, as your baby takes less human milk, these advantages are condensed into what milk is produced. Many of the health benefits of human milk are dose related, that is, the longer the baby receives human milk, the greater are the benefits. Some fear that continuing to breastfeed until a child weans on his own will make him more dependent on his mother. Instead of viewing extended nursing as something to question, perhaps the real query should be, "What is there to be gained by abruptly putting an end to the breastfeeding relationship?" It's interesting that some people think that a child won't grow out of breastfeeding unless he is forced. In reality, it's a natural process for children to outgrow breastfeeding on their own. Independence, not dependence, is one outstanding trait that breastfed children who self-wean have in common.
         Natural weaning allows for differences in children by letting them grow at their own pace. Independence can't be forced upon a child before he is ready to assume it. A child who weans gradually is able to maintain his emotional attachment to his mother, rather than being forced to switch to an inanimate object such as a cuddly toy or blanket. I can vouch for this; I speak from personal experience.

  Human contact does not cause harm to a child :) 
Plus don't think that breastfeeding a toddler is the same as an infant. First of all, it's not as often, mostly just mornings and/or evenings, when they are in distress or in pain. And all it takes is a minute at most (at least with mine). 
Believe me I have tried to wean her off, twice, both times lasted for four! months. At the age of 3, and then 4. But she kept asking, very politely and kind of gently. I could see that she was not ready, she needed it, so I gave it back to her. And what a help it is. When she is sick, or in pain, instead of spending a lot of time and nerves (and a-lot-of-side-effects-painkillers) to calm her, get rid of the pain(like toothache,she likes her candies) and e.t.c all it takes is 30 seconds on a breast and off she's playing happily around. Yea, I KNOW!, you'd say " there are many other ways to calm your child"...BUT, nothing works as good and FAST as THE BREAST!

•   Handling Criticism

          Understandably, some mothers find it difficult to deal with pressure to wean, whether that pressure comes from family, friends, or complete strangers. Choosing to do things differently than other mothers who initiate weaning after a few months calls for courage, self-assurance, and a good support system. Katherine Dettwyler, anthropologist, states that major contributors to premature weaning are cultural. Early weaning often occurs in cultures that promote breastfeeding as mainly nutrition for infants, view breasts as sexual objects, and don't accept nursing in public.

        If you're facing criticism from family members or friends, remember that they may simply be uninformed about the benefits of extended breastfeeding or perhaps they feel guilt about their own parenting choices. Consider responding to unwelcome comments by:

Ignoring: walking away or changing the subject.

Informing: sharing books, articles, or a medical professional's thoughts on extended nursing.

Using Humor: making a joke about the situation or yourself, not the other person.

Acknowledging: recognizing the person's viewpoint and asking further questions without agreeing or disagreeing

Empathizing: being empathetic to demonstrate that you understand the other person's feeling and meaning

• Advantages for Mother

Parenting is an exhausting business. When a mother says how tired or stressed she is, some people may point to breastfeeding as the culprit. In reality, there are many benefits of extended nursing to mothers, some of which include:

     Stress relieving qualities: Breast-feeding suppresses the nervous system's hormonal response to stress, which is why many mothers recognize that they feel calmer and better able to cope with whatever comes along while nursing.

     A few guaranteed calm moments in a day: Parenting can be hectic. Toddlers are bursting with energy and find a lot of interesting things to keep them busy. There are times -- however brief -- when a mother can count on breastfeeding to provide soothing quality time to calm an upset toddler or to reconnect and bond with her child.

     Decreased risk of diseases: One study found a decreased risk of breast cancer among breastfeeding mothers, with the greatest risk reduction seen in women whose total amount of breastfeeding for one or more children totals several years (Collaborative Group on Hormonal Factors in Breast Cancer 2002). A mother's risk of osteoporosis (and other diseases) is also reduced by extended breastfeeding (Gwinn et al. 1990; Hartge et al. 1989; Rosenblatt, Thomas, and WHO 1993).

    Amenorrhea: The amount of natural infertility experienced while breastfeeding is known as lactational amenorrhea. Many mothers experience reduced fertility when nursing past a year, with some women going as long as two years or more without menstruating.

Even after the time during which nursing alone is a reliable contraceptive has passed, many mothers continue to enjoy freedom from menstruation and from the physical and emotional effects of ovulation and menstruation" (Bumgarner 2000).

     Advantages for Toddlers

Human milk is the primary source of nutrition during a baby's first year. It becomes a supplement to solids during the second year, but it maintains nutritional value, as well emotional benefits for toddlers.

     Immune system: It takes between two and six years for a child's immune system to fully mature. Human milk continues to complement and boost the immune system for as long as it is offered (AAP 1997; Goldman 1983; Gulick 1986; Mohrbacher and Stock 2003; Saarinen 1982). Research on the incidence of illness in breastfed or weaned toddlers reflects these dynamics. Breastfeeding toddlers between 16 and 30 months old have been found to have fewer types and shorter duration of illness and to require less medical care than their non-breastfeeding peers (Gulick 1986).

    Oral development: Breastfeeding provides a natural outlet for non-nutritive sucking that promotes proper oral development, which has been found to improve speech (Davis 1991; Labbok and Hendershot 1987; Broad and Duganzich 1983).

     IQ score: Extensive research on the relationship between cognitive achievement (IQ scores, grades in school) and breastfeeding has shown the greatest gains for those children breastfed the longest (van den Bogaard 1991).

      Independence: The process that children go through while growing toward independence is a difficult one. Breastfeeding can provide feelings of love, comfort, and protection. When a mother makes herself available to nurse her child through a situation that he can't handle alone, he will likely develop independence based on faith that mother will be there to help. As a child gets older, there are fewer and fewer such situations. Provided a child isn't prevented from exercising his developing capabilities, independence comes with his increasing competence (Bumgarner 2000).

     Self-Esteem: Babies and young children nurse when they are lonely, frightened, or in pain and responsive mothering through breastfeeding leads to enhanced bonding. Allowing a toddler to nurse (or wean) at his own pace is an expression of trust that contributes to his self-esteem.

There are no prizes to be won for breastfeeding the longest -- all mothers and babies are different. Ideally the nursing relationship continues until the child outgrows the need.

Myth: An older nursing child won't learn self-comforting skills.

Fact: Giving your child the comfort of breastfeeding is actually the best way to teach self-comforting skills in the long run. It is from this early relationship with you that he learns much about his needs and how to get them met in constructive, self-initiated ways.

Myth: Prolonged nursing is too fatiguing for a mother.

Fact: Many mothers find that nursing is one way they are able to rest, since nursing assures that there are a few times in every day when the mother can put her feet up and relax with her child.

Myth: The longer you wait to wean, the harder it will be.

Fact: As children get older, encouraging weaning often gets easier, not harder, since older children have a greater ability to reason and a wider repertoire of interests. When your child is ready to wean, it will be easy.

Myth: It's better to wean suddenly and get it over with.

Fact: Weaning slowly is one of the many areas in your relationship with your child where going slowly pays off in the long term. There are no instant fixes that don't have a cost. By weaning gradually and employing gentle techniques, you will maintain your child's inner security and trust for you.

Myth: A mother who nurses an older child is doing it to fill some need in herself.

Fact: Many mothers explain that their satisfaction and pleasure in nursing declines as the child gets older, and if they continue to nurse, it is primarily because it is important to their child. Older children are usually not coerced to nurse, they are allowed to nurse.

Reference: http://www.llli.org/

The miracle, well, kind of...

Some time ago I have posted on my FB wall that a miracle had happened. So to many of you who was wandering what the hell was that about because I was divorcing at the time. Some asked if the divorce is that miracle... Good question and a thought but no.

The miracle was concerning my older DD - K. As many of you know she has Selective Mutism which means that in some surroundings and situations and with some people she won't talk. and NOT because she does NOT WANT but because she can't due to the anxiety. There are still lots of unanswered questions about this condition: whys and whens and hows.

Any way, She loves to sing and dance and perform in front of the camera so I have been trying to find a drama or something like this for her. We went to a few but with no success, she did not like them or were not very comfortable to vocalize in the class. And Then I have signed her up for the Perform School trial class. We came in on the day and like always as soon as we are in she all get clingy and goes mute. She won't talk to anyone including Me. Then the teachers took the kids in the class. I have been keeping my eye on K through the window and she seemed to enjoy. After an hour, the teachers opened the door and were letting the kids out one by one. When it was K's turn she RAN out shouting: ''Mama Mama I want to come back tomorrow!!'' I was stunned! I lost my words and looked at her in disbelief :)) She was talking and very happy! The teacher said that she had joined with all the singing, talking, discussions and even their silly banana language. So I had to pay right then for the whole term which is not cheap. I think it's the most expensive classes I have come across but hearing and seeing my DD enjoying it so much it's SOOO worth it! When we left the building and went outside i started jumping and squealing with delight :DDDD

So now we are going there every Friday after school. Our branch is at Alexandra Palace. I Love this place! It is on top of the hillish mountain, you can see most of the London including the City from there. The view is gorgeous. While the kids are inside you have an hour. You can go on the playground with a youngest, or go see Deer( I just realized that single and plural for Deer are the same!) , or walk around this huge park or go to the Pub for a coffee or a drink ;)

If anyone interested I highly recommend this school. Of course it can be different at another brunch, it's all depends on the teachers. But you can try, they always have free trial classes for ALL ages from 3months old to 12 years of age. You can check their website here or call this number to book your free trial class 0845 400 4000. Their school has a'Recommend a friend' scheme  For every friend you introduce who goes on to book 10 classes with them, you will receive £30 credit on your account which can be used as payment for any Perform product (except for Perform Play purchases).  If you decide to go on please tell them that you found out about their school by personal recommendation and give them the details of us: Kristina Konstancia with post code N22. Then if you recommend to your friend and your friend will put your details then you will get the credit and so on.

I will end my post on that note as my little V has started reprogramming PC :)

Happy and enjoying drama classes to everyone!

Breastfeeding in the Land of Genghis Khan | InCultureParent

Breastfeeding.... Soo many opinions, advice, views, do's and dont's ... I breastfed my first daughter until she was 13 months old and she stopped on her own, I was pregnant 4 weeks with my second baby. The second child I was, well still am breastfeeding, And she is coming on 3. Yes 3 years old! I did stopped when she was around 2 and a half, for four months she was begging me to give it to her. Not demanding, but very gently and politely. My heart was breaking. If even after 4 months your child still asks for it that surely means that she really really needs it?! Everyone was telling me that I did the right thing and it is ridiculous to breastfeed her even as long as I did. I went to the GP about my acne and when she wanted to prescribe me something I told her that I'm breastfeeding, she looked at me like I'm an idiot and told me to quit. I asked her why? She said: '' the child is too old''. I left the office immediately with out saying a word, was so angry!

And after four months of not breastfeeding and her pledges ... it didn't feel right to me. And then she broke her arm! In the hospital she didn't get any painkillers and it was soo painful after the twisting the technicians did on her arm for an x-ray She was screaming with pain. She asked me for a breast and I gave it to her! So, she will be 3 in two months time and we are back breastfeeding on demand after 4 months break.

The article I have stumbled upon is fantastic. It is the best I have ever read about breastfeeding. My favourite part is: ''By Calum’s second year, I had fully realized just how useful breastfeeding could be. Nothing gets a child to sleep as quickly, relieves the boredom of a long car journey as well, or calms a breaking storm as swiftly as a little warm milk from mummy. It’s the lazy mother’s most useful parenting aid, and by now I thought I was using it to its maximum effect.''  I can relate to it 100%.

Please read the whole Article and hope you will enjoy it as much as I did.

Breastfeeding in the Land of Genghis Khan | InCultureParent

What's life in a baby buggy like?

Have you ever wandered why your child does not like to ride in a buggy? Or at least some of you.. 

         Last month I have attended a course for parents about How to talk to your baby. It was a 2 day course but unfortunately I was able to attend only the first-theory day.

One thing out of many caught my attention was the mentioning of the stress for the child in a forward facing buggy. 

There is even  an extract from the longer video produced by Norland College to highlight how it feels for a baby to ride in a forward-facing buggy.

Norland College buggy ride from National Literacy Trust on Vimeo.

Research published by Talk To Your Baby in November 2008 examined interactions between parents and infants in face-to-face and away-facing buggies. The research was carried out by Dr Suzanne Zeedyk, developmental psychologist at the University of Dundee.

Zeedyk emphasised that the study was small and required further investigation, but said: "If babies are spending significant amounts of time in a baby buggy that undermines their ability to communicate with their parent, at an age when the brain is developing more than it will ever again, then this has to impact negatively on their development. Our experimental study showed that, simply by turning the buggy around, parents' rate of talking to their baby doubled."

More information on the topic you can find HERE

Trip to Great Ormond Str Hospital and the kids are my HEROES!!

Who needs an alarm clock? V woke me up as usual at 6 am. Surprisingly we managed to get ready pretty fast. First time in months got to the Nursery before 9am, 8:45 to be exact! We dropped K and went on on our first time journey to the GOSH. We came to the x-ray department as was instructed in a letter and were told to wait for somebody to get us. And what do you know V fell asleep. Well because V was asleep I took the liberty to look around on my own. They had really good waiting area with lots and lots of different activities for children of all ages. Stuff to draw, stuff to make, puzzles, computer games(2 stations), big flat screen TV, soft corner for under 2s and many more...
Then a young guy came over, he was our 'test taker'. He took us to a different building and the lab guy started to try to guess where am I from. First choice of course -Poland, then Albania(really?), then Bulgaria then something else and then I had to stop him and tell him- its LATVIA! He was like:'' I would have never  guessed!'' And I decided against of asking -WHY.
Once we arrived to the different building, there I saw lots of children with different disabilities and illnesses. We had an opportunity to interact with some of them while we were waiting for the sweat to be collected from the probe(see yesterdays post). 
These kids are my HEROES! We adults have so much to learn from them!!  With all the stuff they have to deal and live with they never complain! They are so strong and full of life. When adults get sick they moan and moan and are miserable and pitying  themselves ... Children- don't! They play, have fun and live as best as they can. These children will always be my INSPIRATION!


About V's test- now we have to wait for her paediatrician to tell us the results. Hoping and believing all is good and we will get a negative on it


So when you have a cold or a headache - it will go away! Or even a broken bone- it will heal. Don't concentrate on it and you will feel better! Take these kids as an example - keep smiling and live your life to the fullest xoxo

My daughter has her arm in a cast(from shoulder to her fingers), but it does not stop her from doing crazy things, she still is ready to climb the mountains lol